Monday, April 25, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Ode to the eggbeater
It's a quirk of the natural world that apex predators seek enemies. Despite an unchallenged position at the top of the pile the big cheese need their foes in order to create balance. Because, you see, all that excess vigour and vim has gotta go somewhere and without an enemy upon whom to focus it they begin to turn on each other.
At the moment SUP's are serving that purpose in grand style.
As an enemy they are a perfect fit for surfers. With a 12 foot board and paddle the fuckers can be accused of wave stealing, while overblown claims to waterman lineage leave 'em open to charges of wankerism, and 'surfing as core strength training' just sounds so damn serious.
So enemies they are and I'll do my bit to spread the animosity. And yet, as I loathe those stand up bastards sweeping for their SUPper I must admit to a warm longing for our old enemy who've been hunted to extinction – the humble goat boat.
Eggbeaters were great because the potential for serious injury, and hence mirth among the surfing fraternity, was far greater than with SUP's. And with odd tans on the front of their legs, hips swivelling wildly and a propensity to get caught inside with nought they could do about it goat boats provided endless humour. Like ducks they were; always funny, even the angry ones.
So when it comes to enemies - real or imagined - gimme a flailing goat boat slipping backwards over-the-falls while strapped into his rig over a puffed up SUP anyday.
Rest In Peace dear eggbeater.
At the moment SUP's are serving that purpose in grand style.
As an enemy they are a perfect fit for surfers. With a 12 foot board and paddle the fuckers can be accused of wave stealing, while overblown claims to waterman lineage leave 'em open to charges of wankerism, and 'surfing as core strength training' just sounds so damn serious.
So enemies they are and I'll do my bit to spread the animosity. And yet, as I loathe those stand up bastards sweeping for their SUPper I must admit to a warm longing for our old enemy who've been hunted to extinction – the humble goat boat.
Eggbeaters were great because the potential for serious injury, and hence mirth among the surfing fraternity, was far greater than with SUP's. And with odd tans on the front of their legs, hips swivelling wildly and a propensity to get caught inside with nought they could do about it goat boats provided endless humour. Like ducks they were; always funny, even the angry ones.
So when it comes to enemies - real or imagined - gimme a flailing goat boat slipping backwards over-the-falls while strapped into his rig over a puffed up SUP anyday.
Rest In Peace dear eggbeater.
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